05 January 2010

Back to the grind and a few other things...

Here's how things are going... I am finally back to work! YAY! I went back Monday for the first time since the middle of August. Some things are just like I never left and some things are so different, I feel like the new guy. Health wise things are going well. My diet is getting better. I can eat a whole Happy Meal! lol... Seriously though, the things I am eating are getting more solid. For the most part I don't have any problems with it, but occasionally things get stuck in my throat and that makes for an interesting moment or two until I can get it "unstuck" (either finally swallowing it or having to cough it out). The only thing that is irritating is that some of it winds up having to be blown out my nose, lest it wind up in my sinuses.

We were able to head back to Cincinnati for Christmas (thanks Mom). I can say that this was one of the best Christmases we have ever had. Not only did we get to spend the holiday with family, but Santa made sure that the girls had as "normal" a Christmas as possible. I just want to take a second here and thank Santa for that. Katie & I appreciate that more than we can express.

Anyway, while back in Cincinnati I was paid many compliments on going through and surviving my treatments. At first I really didn't know how to handle all of that. To me, I was just doing what I had to do, but then my brother-in-law, Mark, said something to me that made me understand it a little bit better. He said that I inspired people and when I told him that I didn't feel that I was all that, he said that I am because I was able to show people our age that you can go through something like this and come out of it more or less ok. That led me to think and I can understand that, but I think that in order to be inspiring, you have to be inspired. That is where my friends and family come in. I would not have been able to do what I did without the thoughts, prayers and support of all y'all. The support from everyone has been unbelievable and words can't describe how much it all means to me. Thank you.

As much as I used and appreciate the support from everyone, my biggest support and inspiration, however, has come from my wife & kids. They stared into abyss and faced the monster with me and did not flinch. This is by far the toughest thing we have had to go through and not only did they get through it, they got me through it as well. Trust me, this was not easy for them. There were times I'm sure they wanted it to be over and done with, especially since I wasn't the easiest person to deal with during all of this. But, with every challenge that was put before them, Katie, Emily and Lilli rose to that challenge, faced it head on and walked away from it victorious.

There were time that Katie felt like she wasn't doing anything to help me. That couldn't be further from the truth. She is probably the only one who heard me complain about how hard everything was and wondering if it would ever stop. Every time I complained, she was there with something to help keep me going. Whether it was words or a touch or just being there listening, she did her job as "the wife" very, very well.

Emily was put in a position that no 17 year old should ever have to be in. She was thrown into the position of an adult and she handled it very well. Yes, we had our rough spots and there were times she didn't want the responsibilities handed to her, but when push came to shove, she came through when we needed her. It's not easy for a teenager to take on adult responsibilities and issues at a normal pace, let alone at an accelerated pace like she had to deal with. She learned alot, not only about what I went through, but her own makeup as well and she has discovered that she can handle more than she thought and that will serve her well as she gets older.

Finally, there is Lilli. What can I say about her. I know that there is not much a 9 year old can do, but she did what she could. When I would be in the bathroom getting sick, she was there, rubbing my back telling me that it would be ok. She was also the only one when I was feeling bad, and not wanting to see anyone, to make me laugh.

Well, that pretty much sums up the last month or so. I have an appointment with my radiation oncologist on the 18th. I'll let you know how that goes.

"We're going to fight. We're going to be hurt. In the end we will stand." ~ Roland Deschain, Gunslinger (from the Dark Tower series)