It's baaaack. Cancer has decided to go another round with the champ...

I got the biopsy results back from Dr. Williams today. It came back positive for cancer. Or, as Doc Williams put it "it looks like cancer". The PET scan that I originally was going to have in May has now been pushed up to this Tuesday. I am figuring that the results of the scan will determine how we pursue treatment. Hopefully, it is just localized to the spots on my tongue and all they have to do is just cut them out and be done with it. If it has spread, well, that's a whole different ballgame.

This one is tough. Just when I thought I was almost out of the woods I have to deal with this again. While the vast majority of me is ready to fight and kick cancers butt again, there is a part of me that just wants to jump up and down, yell, scream and just throw an all around fit about how unfair this all is, but what good would that do? I can't have that negativity. I know life is unfair. I also know that people are only given what they can handle. But, just the same, sometimes you wanna scream, you wanna cry, you want someone to tell you why, and you think that all the hope that’s in your heart is not enough to fend off the monster in the night that feeds on fear and despair. I know that the only way to, once again, beat back this monster is to stand and fight. Cancer has underestimated my heart, my desire, my will and the steel in my spine. Again. I won the last round. I plan on winning this one too.

So, here we are again, standing at the edge of the abyss looking the monster in the eye one more and telling it; "Bring it on. We took your best shot last time. We'll take it again and we'll beat you. Again."

We're off into the abyss. Stay tuned. It's gonna be one hell of a fight.

Ow,ow,ow,ow,ow...

Ok, biopsies suck. Hard.

I went to see Dr. Williams today. He said that since he has never, ever seen cancer come back this soon after treatment, he is pretty sure that what is going on with my tongue is not cancer. He didn't guarantee anything, of course, but he did say that in all likelihood it is either a suture trying to come out, scar tissue or inflamed scar tissue.

However, just to err on the side of caution, he did do a biopsy of the spot. OW!!!! Everything about the biopsy just hurt. The shots to numb the tongue, pulling the tongue out and trying to position it and then, of course, getting the specimen pieces out so they can be tested. Ow, ow, ow.

He said that they should have the results back by Tuesday. I'll call him Tuesday afternoon to get the results.

Here's to hopin'...

Another hoop to jump through...

Well, I saw Dr. Levine (my medical oncologist) today. For the most part, the visit went well. My weight is up to 179 lbs. I have the paperwork to schedule my PET scan for the first part of May. That's the good news. Here's the hoop I have to go through; I have to see Dr. Williams (my surgeon and ear, nose & throat dr.) this Thursday. For the past month or so, there has been some small pain on the right side of my tongue. Mostly when I drink soda or something like that, so I told Dr. Levine about it. During the exam today Dr. Levine found a small, circular hard spot on my tongue near where they took the tumor out. Dr. Levine is pretty sure that is nothing serious and the spot is likely benign, probably nothing more than either scar tissue or perhaps an a suture that is trying to come out, but he wants a specialist to check it out to make certain it is nothing to worry about. Dr. Levine is so certain that it is nothing serious that my next appointment with him isn't until May after the PET scan.

While Dr. Levine is pretty sure it is nothing serious, it is still frustrating to have another step added to this already arduous process. Hopefully, Doc Williams will be able to look at it and tell me straight out what it is. If not, I'm sure there will be more steps involved so they can figure out what this one is.

Here's to hoping...

quick update & a few words about a true hero...

Hey all. I know I said I would let y'all know about how things went with Dr. Z., but things have been hectic the last couple of weeks. Sorry. I'll explain what has been going on in a bit. But first...

The appointment with Dr. Zinreich (my radiation oncologist) went very well. She says my mouth, throat & tongue are healing quite nicely. In fact, she couldn't use a regular tongue depressor during the exam. She had to use a metal one. That is a good thing. She said my tongue is strong and healthy. YAY! She wants the PET scan scheduled for sometime in April. She didn't set an exact date because she wants Dr. Levine to examine me first. That appointment is Feb. 16th. I will be sure to update everyone on that appointment.

Now, as to why this post was so late. Not only has day to day life been very busy, but I had to go back to Cincinnati for a funeral. My grandfather passed away on January 20th. He had been in a over 2 year battle with prostate cancer. One of the reasons I have been able to fight as hard as I have with my cancer is because my Grandpa paved the way for me and showed me how to fight. He showed me that will and attitude go a long way in determining how your treatment will go. He was a great man and mere words just cannot describe him or the impact he left on the lives of his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. The best example I have of that is the way Lilli talks about him. Every time we went back to Cincinnati, Lilli would ask/demand to go see him and whenever something about World War II comes on tv she wants to watch it in the hopes of seeing Grandpa on tv. Katie & I are convinced that in Lilli's mind her "Grandpa Ed" single handedly won World War II. He was a man of few words, but he didn't need to say much, he let his actions speak for him. He was an inspiration and he will be missed.