20 March 2010

Just a word on "fate"

You know, many a day has gone by that I used to ask myself.. what kind of a god would encourage me to move my immediate family over 500 miles away from our entire extended family, and then yank away the good job that I moved here for? Seems like he has a crappy sense of humor, to me.

However.. Ken would have developed cancer no matter where we lived, and likely at the same time. Would we have discovered if sooner had we stayed in CIncinnati? who knows? maybe.
I have experienced enough "coincidences" in my life that I honestly do believe things happen for a reason... we are placed "where" we go for a reason. Had Ken been diagnosed with heart trouble, or had a stroke or anything like that, you can bet I'd want him in Cincinnati at Christ hospital. But that's not what we were dealt. He ended up with cancer in his tongue, broadly classified as "head and neck" cancer. In Baltimore, MD, near Towson specifically.

What is the significance of that, you might ask. Well, not that GBMC can be blamed for tooting their own horn.. but by everything independent we've seen, heard or read... in addition to being told, Ken happens to be literally smack dab in the middle of the absolute best "head and neck cancer" treatment facility available in the entire country. 50 states, thousands of square miles, and we ended up here. I'll admit... it does not SEEM like such an "easy" time right now, but think about it objectively. It has honestly been less than 1 year since Ken was diagnosed. (Granted, it has been decidedly the LONGEST hardest 9 months of either of our lives, hands down.) But to go from diagnosis, to surgery, treatment, beginning to bounce back from the side effects.. and to still have 2 more surgeries.... It is without a doubt the most aggressively I have ever heard of anyone's cancer being attacked. The treatment Ken was prescribed through Dr. Williams, along with Dr. Zenreich and Dr. Levine has literally CURE rates in the high 90th percentile. Granted, Ken's cancer seems to have a belligerent little mind of its own. But something we have noticed is that because of that fact, Ken seems to be getting what seems to be slightly preferential treatment. Meaning: When something like a test result needs to be read and analyzed... usually it is a 24 - 48 hour window before you can expect to hear anything. With the recent PET scan, his surgeon, Dr. Williams personally called Ken within 5 hours of Ken leaving the radiology facility. The frozen sections removed from Ken's last glossectomy were perhaps analyzed a little closer than most would have been... mostly because they are beginning to expect anomalies where Ken is concerned.

Dr. Williams has extended conversations with us regarding all our questions... even in the aisles of WALMART!! One thing he has impressed upon us is that he approaches Ken's treatment and "plan of attack" from the perspective of "how would he like himself treated, or his family member, if they were the one facing this". At least twice now, he has called us at home within a day or hours of Ken having surgery. Tonight, he made sure he called us from his home phone so that we would have that as well, in our arsenal in order to get in touch with him if the need arises.

I cannot say enough about the quality of caretakers we have encountered at Greater Baltimore Medical Center. They recognized him today in registration, as having "been there recently" (10 days ago). His nurses in Pre-op and recovery remember him.. (I really wish the would quit inflating his ego!!!) Other than my own minor trauma at the coffee shop today (they do not stock my single favorite addiction in GBMC on Thursdays or Fridays. Therefore.. any procedures from here on out MUST be on Monday Tuesday or Wednesday! LOL Anyone else know where they have chocolate filled croissants??)

My point it this... Yes, we are all frustrated. I'd daresay, at least for me, this is the closest many of us have come to traveling the cancer treatment road with a family member, or one so close to us. I know I'm frustrated with getting my hopes up (we got it all this time...) only to discover another surgery is needed. But completely objectively... we've been "lucky" so far. And we get such amazing care. If this is something we MUST got hrough, especially having to do so without the immediate emotional support of our extended family... I want to do it here. With this group of people.. these doctors, these friends.

Thanks, everyone. I need sleep now....

3 comments:

Tee said...

I don't believe in mere coincidence. I believe that your progress of events has brought you to where you're supposed to be right now. Funny how we may curse and argue our point until one day, we are very humbled by what turns out to be a much bigger, better plan. I take solace in that when things aren't going so well. Stay strong...you have my best wishes and healing energy. Take time to rest yourself, though...a very many rely on you. And look how well you carry them. <3

Pat Moning (mom) said...

Boy Katie, you sure put things in perspective for me. And Tee said just what I want to say. You have been a rock for your whole family at a very young age. I doubt that I could have done what you are doing even at my advanced age (71). I hope it gets easier for all of you. All your dad & I can do is pray & provide whatever we can for all of you. And we will continue that "help" as long as we can. Just hang in there!!!

dani said...

Well said! What a great attitude to take! And I think you are so absolutely right! I absolutely believe that everything happens for a reason...even when things are roughest and I want to questions "why" (when things are going on with one of the kids) I try to remember that. We are where we are for some purpose and some good will come out of it somewhere. You guys are just amazing! Love you all! (((hugs)))